G'Day All

I write to you know from the pitch black 4am.

When I last left you, I was 8 hours away from a plane that would take me to Bangkok and then eventually, home. Well, that trip took so much longer than I ever imagined - for various reasons. First things first, I arrive at Ben-Gurion International Airport (Tel-Aviv) and go through security. Now this isn't normal airport security like you'd have here, this is like an intense gauntlet of questioning and x-ray scans to make sure you won't blow up the plane. First in line - and luckily the queue for these things was short because we arrived earlier than expected - was the passport check and the check-in baggage scan. They checked my ticket and passport and asked me why I was leaving the country, why I was there, how long I'd stayed, etc. etc. etc. Gran was there to make sure everyone knew I was her grandson from Australia, and SHE lived here and they shouldn't check me and all that. Well the passport lady was nice and laughed and told her she could stay with me throughout the check-in process - which even to gran. was unexpected. After they scanned the bags, we were led to another counter where pretty much their job was to rip open and unpack your bags to make sure everything is ok. I plopped my bag down on the table and he asked me "Do you have a flask in this bag?" to which I replied yes because I did indeed have one for dad and then he asked me more questions like "where did you buy it? was it always with you? etc." and I answered accordingly until finally grandma said "I'm his grandmother! I live here! It was a gift from me! Why are you asking him these things?!" the guy just smiled and said "ok ok" and he put the baggage tag on and sent us away - I was convinced that he only did this so quickly to get rid of gran. - which really wouldn't surprise me. Whilst in line for the check-in baggage grandma asked me "what was he talking about when he asked you what was in the bag?" and I told her it was the flask she had given me from her apartment - namely I said this because the guy HAD USED THE WORD FLASK (this becomes important in a moment). She said that I MUST be mistaken because the guy "wouldn't know what a flask is because there's no drinking culture here and he's probably never seen one in his life". I was so stunned by this - a flask isn't exactly something hard to understand, is it? So I told her no, that he meant the metal flask in my bag. She said "no, you're WRONG, he must have meant a bottle of alcohol, he DOESN'T know what a flask is!" To which I of course answered that I didn't HAVE a bottle of alcohol in my bag, so WHY would I say "yes I have one"? He meant the flask, damnit. We both said the other was being stubborn and moved on. Whilst getting my boarding passes and baggage checked I introduced the guy at the counter to the word "marvelous" which he then took to be his own, checked me through and that was that. So, now it was about 2 and a half hours before my flight, what to do? So we wandered through the airport to the only open eatery - a kosher McDonald's. Yes, kosher. So, my last meal in IsraelIsrael

was a KOSHER Big Mac meal...which actually, pretty much tasted the same as a regular one. When we finished, I changed my remaining shekles to Aussie dollars and went through to the gate - and away from gran for the last time that trip. When I walked through the gate and passed the duty free shops to my departure gate I sat down - and was right away bored, homesick and frustrated all at once. I felt like Kerouac in "Lonesome Traveller" - the frustrations of travelling alone. Of course I only felt this way while in transit - which WAS lonely - not while living with gran. - which was NOT LONELY ENOUGH. Though I had enjoyed my stay in very much - I missed home and was glad to be coming back. It's also kind of a blessing to be finally away from gran. and although I love her - she is just TOO MUCH. Especially after 2 weeks alone with her. Then came time to board the plan. It was 22:25.The first flight was surprisingly relatively painless. Considering it was 10 and something hours. Though it was mostly sleepless, it seemed to go by faster than the trip over. It was mildly turbulent, but mostly uneventful. Now off the plane, began the hellish stayover that was 11 hours in Bangkok airport. Though I was only away for 2 weeks it felt like an eternity - and judging by the length of this trip, it will feel the same in the airport for 11 hours. As it landed, the crowd of Israelis and Jews gave their customary clap - just as the plane literally skidded to a halt on the runway throwing some of us a little forward, but no harm no foul. As I sat in the uncomfortably warm - and humid - BangkokBangkok airport I was stunned at how difficult it had been to secure a good place to sit. Here's a little bit from my journal there: "I'm tired and drowsy and all I have is 20 Batt and the bottle of water I bought was 55 Batt - luckily I had that US$2 with me or I'd be FUCKED. Now I definitely just wanna go home. I still hate this airport (more on this later). I'm kind of hungry and I still have US$25 (which turned out to actually be US$16) but I don't know what I can get for that. If I get desperate I'll use it." Well, I caved sooner than expected in regard to food (after I wrote that it only took 20 mins for the desperation to kick in) and so I did what any self-respecting traveller would do; went and got a SUPER HUGE SUNDAE WITH TOPPINGS AND YUMMYNESS at the "Ice Cream and Fudge Factory" bar. It cost like US$8. I deserved that Sundae. Sitting in that restaurant and finishing that sundae ate up almost 40 mins. Woo. So, desperate to kill more time - I called mum at home to say I was ok. Just as I was hanging up the phone, who should I run into at airport? No less than Popi Silk and her family with Keely - friends from IGS. We were overjoyed to see each other and I hung with them for like 4 and a half hours until they had to board their plane and I had 3 and a half hours left to go.

While sitting in that airport - bored stiff and time seeming to move slower than ever before - I noticed and noted that Thai was kind of an ugly, strange but interesting language. My constant stream of thought was more along the lines of "Mustn't...fall asleep...in...AIRPORT!" So I decided to take some slow and gradual walks around the airport I hated so much. I realized something quickly though - every corner of the airport looked the same. I walked from one Gate to another, and it was EXACTLY THE SAME except for the Gate number. The shops, the seating arrangements with TV, the bathrooms, the security and the gate itself - it all looked the same. No WONDER I found it all confusing. Finally - and I mean FINALLY! - the clock ticked over to 11pm and I could no longer wait, I went and checked through security into my gate and sat.

On the Thai airways plane I noticed it was a lot more colourful than the last one and there was so much more LEG ROOM - which was very warmly embraced. Light jazz was playing over the PA and I felt relaxed. By about 1 and a half hours into the flight I had already had a rum and orange and a glass of wine with dinner - I was trying to sedate myself so I would fall asleep and wake up in Sydney - which didn't work as well as I had hoped. It was funny to note that they were very big on the wine pouring that trip, because usually they will pass once or maybe twice with the wine and that's it. This time however they went by at least 10 times. They must have figured if we were going to Australia, we must all DRINK. Sleep didn't come as quickly as I had hoped, but it DID come. I woke up to the lights all being on, breakfast being served and a warm wet towel being offered to me. I had been asleep for 4 and a half hours of an 8 and a half hour flight - not bad. It was now only about 1 hour and a bit until we landed and I was excited to be so close to home. When I awoke though my mouth was dry, having fallen asleep with my mouth open and subsequently breathed that way, and my feet had swelled up and felt like they were the size of my head - which they almost were. This was cured later on by my nap at home.

When we landed in Australia, it was easy sailing. I landed at 1:10 pm. I got through the passport control checkpoint in about 2 mins and waited half an hour afterwards for the baggage carousel to finally start vomiting out bags. 1:45 approx. my bag is finally spat out - being one of the last ones because it was one of the (if not THE) first bags to be checked in - being checked in over 10 hours before the flight. I get my bag and wheel my way over to Customs where a guy picked me out of the line and asked to see my passport and landing card, asked where I had been, for how long and if I usually travelled alone. I answered him and he took me aside - I was to be a random bag check. I put my bag up on the table and opened it. He went through my things, unpacking the bag I had worked so hard at packing, and of course having found nothing, let me go. It was 1:55. Very quick. As I walked out of the arrivals gate, I was greeted by...no one. No one was there to get me. So I called dad and said "I thought you were supposed to pick me up?" turns out he was just LEAVING the office because mum had told him that being there at 2:30 would be fine - figuring everything would be slow. At around 2:10 dad finally came around and got my and took me home where first thing I did was rip off my clothes - which I had been wearing for almost 3 days now - and took a nice, long shower. Then I talked with the family a bit, and took a nice 2 or 3 hour nap. Afterwards we had dinner and I gave out various gifts and that was that.

Soon 8:30 rolled around and it was time to attend Christmas drinks at the pub near my house - the Toxteth - with a few of the guys. It was nice to see them all again. Shame I was so blindingly tired though. At around 10:30 Tyson took me home and I went to sleep. Only to awake at 3:45am and not sleep and by 4am I was fully awake and decided to come onto the computer. Lucky I did because I had time to write this and to talk to Dom on msn - he's in Peru at the moment and sometimes it's hard to get to talk to him, so that was nice. It's now 5:32 am and I'm watching as the first rays of light come through the clouds onto a new day. My first day back home. It was good to be home. Though I was tired and drowsy, had been through frustrating airports and grandma, clearly had jetlag and was looking at a few tired days - none of that mattered now, I was home. I'm home.

Well, that brings to a close Jordan's Travels: Israel. I hope you all enjoyed it. I know I did. Thanks to all those of you who replied and commented on the emails and made me laugh - it was really great and I'm glad you like it. Next time I travel abroad, you can expect these kinds of emails to continue. Until I see y'all again, see you around, I have a headache.