Greetings from the Promised Land

Well, after a turbulant and exhausting flight over, here I am, sitting in my grandmother's apartment! To say it was an 'interesting' ride over here would be an gross understatement. Take off from Sydney was so rough-and-tumble that I thought we'd fall right out of the sky, being that we were flying directly into storm clouds - to help me get over this, I ordered a rum and coke and listened to my mp3 and pretended it was all okay - which it turned out to be. The food on the Thai Airways flight was surprisingly good and when I wasn't eating it, I was reading or watching the awful movie selection (I have now seen Ratatouille about 4 times). I was seated next to a lovely and well-meaning Swedish woman who was visiting her "sister's daughter" in Askwith. She very much enjoyed to talk, despite the fact that her english was not so good. When she spoke, I suspected that she was using every english word she knew merely to convey a simple point. However, what I really wished she would do, was shut up.

To quote Tom Lehrer, "If a person can't communicate, the least they could do, is to shut up."

The flight was sleepless - not that I expected to get much sleep on that flight and was anticipating much slumber on my connecting flight to Tel Aviv. Despite this fact, sleep would not have been unwelcome to the now tired and bloodshot-eyed me. It didn't help that I felt like an ass everyone I got up to go to the bathroom, being that I had to climb over two people in the most unflattering was ever - I cringe to think how many times the well-mannered Swiss-Aussie in the aisle seat got a facelong view of my ass or crotch. When the plane landed in Bangkok, there were sparse claps from the passengers and I knew immediately that these were the young Jewish boys I had seen in the airport who were obviously also on their way to Israel.

I do have to say there were innate wishes to somehow manage to join the mile high club, but the thought of the flight to come and the odds of picking up a girl at 30000 feet when I can't pick one on the ground quelled these dreams quickly.

Here is where the fun starts. Let me start off by saying, I HATE Bangkok international airport. I hate it with such a passion it makes my eyes and throat burn. Within the first 10 minutes of arriving there I was reduced to a quivering mass of confusion, fear and anxiety on the verge of tears. First and foremost I couldn't find my flight number on the board which was - in as few words possible - nerve-wracking (this whole thing was much harder than expected). When I DID find someone who spoke english who could help me, she too could not find my flight. It was by pure luck and mistake that I happened to notice the flight there, sitting at the bottom of the screen having JUST appeared. It was now 20 minutes before the boarding time on my boarding pass. My troubles, however, were far from over. I then found out that my departure gate was "very far away from" my arrival gate. This, of course, means "at the opposite ass-end of the airport" in airport help-desk lingo. However, we both came to the same conclusion - run like shit. So run I did. I ran like there was no tomorrow - and really there wouldn't have been if I had missed the flight.

Then came the El Al security questioning, "Why are you going to Israel? Did you pack your bag yourself? etc. etc." After answering all of these questions I was still asked to take a seat to the side and he would be with me in a minute after a word to his supervisor. Then I thought, "This is it, I'm going to be arrested and taken away for answering a question about where I packed my bag wrong." Turns out they just wanted to get my name right in the database, but man did they let me sit there and sweat for like 10 minutes!

The flight from Bangkok to Tel Aviv was filled with sleep and more sleep. I was seated next to a Thai man who had a face that said "I will kill you and take your things while you sleep" but lucky me he didn't. By the time we landed at Tel Aviv airport, I was so tired that it felt like I had boarded that plane in Sydney about a week ago. The flights seem never-ending. I got off the plane to be one of the first to get my bags and to be greeted by my grandmother, arms open wide!

After some minor errands (I had been in the country about 3 hours when someone already asked my Gran how old I was because she had a daughter she thought I would like) we went back home, had some food and we both had a nap. Now it is 6:58pm and I am getting ready for my first Hannukah party of my stay and boy, will it be interesting judging by my tiredness - let's see how it goes!