Shabbat Shalom

When I last left you I was on my way to my first Hannukah party. To say the least it was an extremely pleasant time - and it being a Jewish holiday party food was more than abundant. Lots of fish (tuna, sardines, salmon) and some cheese and LOTS of Latkes (pronounced: laht-kiss: potato pancakes for the Holiday) and of course an abundance of sweet cakes for desert. When I arrived and after all introductions had been made and greetings had been exchanged with people I already knew, I was offered a drink - alcoholic. I declined wine and a Bloody Mary, but was in the mood for a Jack (Daniels) and Coke - having no coke on hand, I agreed to just a Jack. Now, from here, one can safely assume this will be a normal Jack - about 1/8th of the glass filled with 3 or 4 giant ice-cubes to fill the rest. To say he (Joe - party host) was generous on the Jack would be an understatement. He poured me a 3/4 FULL GLASS of the stuff and after seeing my mildly horrified face he simply said, "you're not driving are you?" so which I answered "no" and he the smiled and poured in a little more. I walked away from the drinks table with my giant Jack and proceeded to talk to some of the alter-cockers (yiddish for old people) who were there - most of which whom were very friendly and very lively and talkative - which I've noticed seems to be a trait of old Jewish people. Then the room was hushed and the Hannukah candles were lit by Joe and his son Daniel (he's about 40) and they also said the prayers. When this was done, the room erupted into a Hannukah song I didn't know the words to - so I simply sipped my Jack and hummed along to the tune. Each time a new dish was brought out an announcement was made which was followed by cheers which I found funny. One thing which is interesting to note; one of the guests who was there was a retired 4-star General of the Israeli army who was a CARBON COPY lookalike of Charles Bukowski. If you don't know what he looks like, look him up on google and I will swear that he looked EXACTLY like him.
After being trapped in a very boring anecdote by a retired psychologist about a wine trip, I escaped and was rescued by Daniel where we sat on the balcony and he had a smoke and I sipped at my every decreasing, but still plentiful, Jack. He is an artist who resides in London and damned if I say he is a BRILLIANT artist. Check his stuff out: www.danielmorgenstern.com .
Then, who should walk in but one of the famed Israeli beauties. An absolutely gorgeous daughter of one of the people there. With the looks of a runway model and getting her PhD in English Literature, one can easily say that I fell just a little for her. Unfortunately she has a boyfriend (whom her mother despises) but we agreed to hang out and they would both show me around the real Arab quarter.
After all this and the crowd of old folk falling in love with me, it was time to leave and to rest.

Day 2: This was mainly a day of rest and preparation for the following day which was grandma's Hannukah party. I'll take this space to make some observations about Israel as a whole. One thing you cannot do in Israel, is starve. Food is cheap and abundant. Second, I don't know if it is the bed I sleep on, the fact that my window lets in ALL the noise from the busy street below, the jetlag or the morning light, but I cannot seem to sleep past sunrise. I sleep til then and then just lie there wishing for sleep. So where normally I awaken at about 11ish, now my average awaken time is about 8. Third, the drivers. Good God they are all FUCKING inSANE! Not to mention that the car horn seems to be this countries national instrument - where one goes off on average every 3-5 seconds. No one here gives a damn about pedestrians, so you could be crossing the street on a green for yourself and the cars won't even slow down. The people drive generally between 2 lanes on the lane lines, they don't use turn signals, they drive to fast and they drive like maniacs - this I have to say, seems also to apply to Grandma, but she drives too slow and changes lanes dangerously slow. Anyone coming to Israel on vacation and who is planning on renting a car: DON'T! YOU WILL DIE!
Something else which I've noticed, but will sound like a strange observation is that when I arrived here, it REALLY felt like a different country. Now, let me explain that. From Australia, you could go to Canada, USA, Italy, England, France, Western Europe in General, New Zealand or wherever and recognise you are in a different country and appreciate that fact, but you still feel altogether comfortable because it's mildly familiar and western. Sure there's a language barrier, but most people will speak english or will try to, but generally you feel at least mildly at home in these foreign cities. With Israel, it's just totally different. And I have to realise - it's the Middle East here. It's far more Eastern, the people look very different and speak a very different and difficult language and also, it looks almost third world. Not that it doesn't have it's Newtown/Glebe/North Shore-like parts to it where everything is all kitsch - but mostly, where I live and most places I've seen, the neighbourhoods are far more ghetto-like than anywhere else, which is something I really have to get accustomed to, so as a result I don't feel as safe. And don't worry, there aren't bombings on every corner - that's sensationalisation. Also, there are cats everywhere...EVERYWHERE. I kind of feel like I'm in a bad Eastern/Russian movie because of it. Also, the people are harsher as a result of all of this. Last of all, I've only been here about 4 days and I'm already going inSANE with grandma's incessant inane-story telling, deafness and incessant talking about NOTHING over and over and...well you get the idea.

Day 3, Grandma's Party: All went well. She spent the whole day preparing the apartment and the food for the guests and then when everyone arrived all went well. There were no problems sufficed to say. I was once more engaged in conversation with many alter-cockers and found myself without anyone my age - was the youngest by about 5 decades. But conversation was good anyway. Many interesting people. And half-way in, I had impressed one woman so much that she snuck off to another room and called her granddaughter about me letting her know that I was 'cool' and that they would go ahead with a meeting for us both. Oy gevault. The food was great: minestrone soup, garlic bread, Latkes, Apple pie, cherry pie, chocolate moose, zuchini quiche, butter cookies, chocolate cookies and fresh vegetables. No one left hungry.

Day 4 (today), the markets: One thing which is great about Israel, and apparently most places in the Middle Eastern countries, is the availability, size and haggle-acceptance of the markets. Clothes, food, trinkets, jewelery - whatever you could want, you can find it at the markets for a small fraction of the regular retail price. I bought myself a nice jumper and some small trinkets for folks back home - with still more gifts to be purchased. Put in your orders now! We also walked along Shenken St. which is like the King St/Newtown of Tel Aviv - all the funky, artsy, young folk stores are there. If it wasn't raining so much today, it would be full to bursting with young people as it is a Friday afternoon.
And that's it so far up to now. I have finished a couple of books and will be going to a movie later tonight with Gran (American Gangster). Also, museums and another party tomorrow and possibly meeting up with the twins for the first time, so we'll see how all that goes. Sunday is going to be Jerusalem and Monday is Masada. I won't email until then probably.

Hoping everything is well back home and until we speak again, Khag Sameakh! (kh = the gutteral 'r' sounds; like khaking up a khairball.)